How To Have Exciting Sex In Christian Marriage
Sex in Christian marriage should be more exciting than sex in a non-Christian marriage. Please scroll down to find an exciting book that you can order to help both you and your spouse. Thrilling sex is possible if both people in the marriage relationship have been brought up with healthy attitudes toward human sexuality. If they have been given the message that sex is dirty and sinful then the enjoyment of it within the God given context of marriage can be problematic. Joy Dawson, who is one of the most godly and god-fearing women who ever walked the face of the earth made this statement: "Only someone as exciting as God could create something as exciting as sex". If you want to enjoy Christian marriage sex, then make sure that the man or women you marry has this kind of attitude toward God's precious gift of sexual intimacy to His people.
Christian sex in marriage is a gift from God to be thoroughly enjoyed, not as a necessary evil to be endured. One of the most loving and holy things you can do in your marriage is to provide a mutually sexually fulfilling pursuit for both you and your spouse. If the only time you get intimate in your marriage is when you turn off the lights at night, then you need to rethink your understanding of sex and Christian marriage! Sex is about much more than only physical encounters under the sheets. It's all about a lifestyle of passion and intimacy that can be enjoyed throughout the day. You can really create new joy and excitement in your Christian marriage sexual relationship and make your marital union more satisfying, both emotionally and physically. However, not all Christian couples have an exciting sex life. There are a number of reasons why this is so.
The satisfying fulfillment that comes from sex in Christian marriage can be thwarted if one or both partners were abused sexually at some point in their life before their marriage. This pre-marital sexual abuse can damage Christian marriage sexuality and cause the victim to shy away from sexual relations with their Christian spouse because the memories have not been healed yet. That is why it is important to seek out an experienced Christian counselor for advice and prayer, and read books that can help you through the healing from sexual abuse so you can relate in a healthy way to your Christian spouse. You owe it to your spouse to find healing now if you are married or obtain healing before you are married so that you can satisfy your spouse sexually. It goes without saying that you also will enjoy sex more.
Also, some unhealthy attitudes toward sex for Christian marriage has been propogated by well meaning but mistaken Christian preachers and teachers. In the old days it was commonly believed that sex in Christian marriage was for procreation only and not too much emphasis was placed on the Christian couple finding ways and techniques to enjoy sexuality in Christian marriage to the maximum. Sexual intimacy in Christian marriage was seen as more pragmatic than aesthetic. This viewpoint of course had some good effects and influence upon unmarried young people as it restrained the passions of singles before marriage. People were less apt to get married to fulfill sexual desires if sexual intercourse was designed by God only for procreation and not primarily to satisfy the desires of the body. But such an imbalanced viewpoint had a negative affect upon sexual satisfaction in Christian marriage.
On the other hand it is not healthy to expect too much of a partner either. It really helps the sex life of Christian couples if both have realistic expectations about the sexual performance of the other, and pornography brought into the marriage either before or after the marriage, can have a damaging effect on the expectations of the Christian wife's or husband's sexual performance by the other spouse. After doing some research on the internet about what Christian experts say about the damaging effects of pornography and how it differs from the reality of sexual performance in marriage, this writer can tell you that what is portrayed in pornographic movies and films is not real. The scenes are often duplicated over and over to make it seem that the man is lasting longer than he really is. Often side effect producing drugs are used to make the man last longer than is possible in real life. So please take these facts into consideration and do not have unrealistic expectations.
Sexual intimacy in Christian marriage is an expression of the care you and your spouse show each other in all areas of life. These areas include communicating with each other, and sharing thoughts and feelings with each other, and even in helping out around the house. You can truly create new joy and excitement in your relationship and make your marriage more satisfying, both emotionally and physically by implementing these easy and key intimacy producing steps. You also need to consider the appetites of your spouse and never coerce them into any type of sex act unwillingly. The law of love and gentle consideration is the rule in the bedroom as much as any place else in life. Although there are several common sexual positions there are also some not so common ones. While some Christian marriage counselors are supportive of oral sex, even calling it "Oral Delights", there are other more prudish counselors who do not believe it has a place in Christian marriage. You need to make up your own mind about this.
Sex after the kids come is another issue that needs to be resolved. Before the unexpected child started knocking down your bedroom door, there was just the two of you. You could sexually express yourself freely with each other at any time and in any room of the house. But now you have a child who crawls into bed with you and sleeps with you all night long. Having children can definitely take its toll on sex in not only the Christian marriage but sex in any marriage. To overcome this interference with your sex life, you will need to accept the fact that during a certain period of your young child's life, sacrifices will need to be made in the area of sexual spontaneity and more of a disciplined structure in both time and location will definitely need to be implemented so that neither of you deprive one another of sexual fulfillment in marriage.
Some other difficult but common problems arising within Christian marriages have to do with a hum-drum sex life, finding time for sex, is fast sex okay, should a husband and wife try to achieve simultaneous orgasms, the question about birth control and God's view of it, reduced sexual drive post-children, attaining sexual privacy with children around, kids entering unexpectedly into the parent's bedroom, what sexual positions give the wife maximum pleasure, body disfigurement and sexual satisfaction issues, weight gain and sexual attraction difficulties, regaining love and sex after an affair, sexual requests that are disturbing, anal sex or oral sex disagreements, when sexual excitement diminishes, menstruation and sex, low sex drive of one spouse, erection difficulties, PMS sex life disruption, painful intercourse, premature ejaculation, childhood sexual abuse hurts, female ejaculation questions, penis size inferiority issues, headache during sex, are christian sex toys okay to use, and sex over sixty questions.
In conclusion, since a God who desires the best for us created sex, it should be very fulfilling for the Christian couple. In order to make this more probable, there should be Christian marriage premarital counseling to uncover any sexual issues that need to be healed before the couple says their vows before God. Trained Christian counselors who administer healing of the memories therapy are the best source of healing for sexual abuse issues. Often giving sex tips for Christians within marriage or Christian marriage sex advice from a trained counselor is not enough. There needs to be deep healing within the subconscious mind.
Additionally if there are negative cognitive concepts toward having a fulfilling sex life in the mind of either person, then a trained counselor in Christian premarital sex issues needs to help that person tell their own mind the truth (Christian cognitive behavioral therapy) concerning what God desires for a healthy Christian marriage sex life. All misbeliefs need to be challenged and changed by telling yourself the truth. By repenting (changing the thinking) about those negative concepts toward sex in Christian marriage, each partner can be more prepared to enter into the satisfying sexual union in their Christian marriage that God intends for them to have.
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